


Mexico In The Rearview

by JackiLeigh



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst and Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 21:55:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14578476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackiLeigh/pseuds/JackiLeigh
Summary: Gibbs POW after he returned from Mexico.





	Mexico In The Rearview

MEXICO IN THE REARVIEW

AN: If you are reading part two of Shafted, this is the same story. I had posted it there, mainly because I could not come up with a name. I thought of the name last night. It is still posting under "Shafted" to limit confusion. 

For those of you reading this for the first time, I wrote a piece, Shafted, in Tony's POV. And due to comments received, I wrote a Gibbs' POV piece. I hope you enjoy. 

THIS IS GIBBS’ POV.

"'You'll do.'" Why the hell did I say that? I ask myself as I look around my basement. At least nothing has changed here. This place, this house, is still the same. It has helped my memory more than I can say. I am glad to be back in DC. I remember a lot. I am still having flashes of memory too, but most things I do recall. And, unfortunately, I recall the last thing I said to Tony before I left for Mexico. "You'll do." I meant it so say so much, but it actually said so very little.

I have been back two weeks. I…I was grateful to Tony because, even though I hadn't asked him to, he had paid my bills that had come in during the 4 months I was gone. I have no words to express my thanks for his consideration and thoughtfulness. I plan to pay him back, though, every penny.

I would give anything to take back my actions that first day back. I saw the look of defeat, the hurt look in his eyes when he saw me back and the things back on his desk. My first response, however, had been anger. Wasn't he glad to see me, I thought. Wasn't he glad to have me back, I thought. The simple action of me putting his things back on his desk, of me not picking up the phone had hurt him. It had hurt him deeply and I would give anything, anything in the world for that not to have happened.

I had wanted to be there when they all came in. That had been the plan. I wanted to show them all I was ready to be back. I wanted to make sure they knew I was OK. I knew they had missed me. God, I had missed them so much. Then when Ziva had called me back, when she had needed my help, I had had the urge to come back. I had had the first thoughts of taking my job back. I had had the first thoughts of getting back to my old life. And, it had felt good.

I was realizing Mexico for what it was, my place to run. My place to escape my bad memories, my place to run to escape life, things as they were. The world condition. I had already lost so much in my life. When that ship exploded in front of my eyes, all those lives lost for, what seemed to me, to be a stupid reason. I needed the escape. The escape sounded good. I had come to realize though, that even on the beaches in Mexico, I could not escape. These people I had come to love as family, even though I could not remember a lot about them. They were in my fragments of memories. They were in my mind more and more as I began to remember names. I would wonder how things were going in D.C. I would flash back to the scene of the ship explosion in my mind. The things Franks told me about 9-11. It all formed a continuous news reel in my mind. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't turn it off. I had to let it play.

I was remembering Shannon and Kelly too. I was remembering that pain. That heartache at loosing the two people I loved the most in the world. I was grieving all over again. I was at the graveside, again, holding that dirt clod in my hand. I was crushing it over the open grave, allowing it to shower down in my daughter's tiny casket. I was, again, realizing that I would never hold her. That I would never again hear her call me 'Daddy.' That I would never get to met her future husband. I would never get to meet her children, my grandchildren. That I would never see that tiny girl, become a grown woman. It, the memories, were crashing in on me. I was drowning in the waves.

I…I knew I had made a wise decision. I knew Tony could do the job. He…I taught him well. I trusted him with my life, how could I not trust him with my team?  
That damnable 'You'll do.' WHAT the hell was I thinking?

TBC

 

Chapter 2

I came back to a changed team, nothing overtly different, but there was underlying current of unrest. I thought, at first, it was me. I mean, amnesia; nobody was sure how to act around me at first. They knew there were gaps in my memory and they were careful, at first, not to assume I remembered anything. It was annoying, but I accepted it. I mean, the amnesia thing was new for me, too. We were all in uncharted territory. It was a little later I realized what the reason situation was.

I had heard comments. Things said by Abby and Ducky, maybe meant as compliments to Tony during my absence, though they seemed to be rather backhanded ones to me. I took it all in stride. I mean, I was sure of Tony and his abilities. I still am. Nothing has changed there. It…Abby keeping my picture up while I was gone, while it was sweet, as a reminder, now it seems also, to have been a reminder to Tony, a painful one. That he would never measure up to her 'Silver-Haired Fox.'

Everyone needs a period of adjustment. This was denied my team. I can only blame myself for that and for the, then, respective fallout. Tony had been thrust into a position he had not been prepared for. The rest had been forced to deal with a new leader and a radically different form of leadership. How could I have believed, in my wildest dreams, that all would have gone smoothly? I wanted it to. I respected Tony. I expected the others to do the same. I knew of his abilities. I thought the others had been blind not to see them. But the fault, in the end, was mine. I saw behind the mask. I knew what was there. I…the others, with the exception of Abby, did not or could not. Either way, it had made for a messy transition.

I, however, do not and will not take responsibility for Ziva's and Tim's lack of respect for Tony as their Team Leader. I, in the course of bringing myself up to speed, discovered several written reprimands. I had not been told about these, by anyone on Team Gibbs. I had been surprised and very disappointed. First, that the reprimands had to be made. And secondly that they were severe enough to have had to be made part of a permanent employee record.

I had heard that Tony had started drinking coffee and slapping heads. And I had to laugh, imitation being the sincerest form of flattery and all. But then I started to listen, for once I was grateful to the office gossip, the scuttlebutt. I was used to it. I knew my reputation and was OK with it. I was a hard-ass on the old rumor mill. I knew it and I lived up to it 100%. No apologies needed, wanted, or accepted. But Tony, it hurt my heart to hear about the level disrespect he had suffered.

But scuttlebutt is, after all, nothing but scuttlebutt. I needed proof. I…I needed someone I trusted. Someone who would tell me the truth not matter what it was. No matter how much it pissed me off to hear it. I turned to Ducky.

TBC

 

Chapter 3

"I am afraid I did the boy a great disservice myself, Jethro." Ducky admitted to me when I went to speak to him. "I told him he did nothing in the same manner you did." Ducky paused. "It was not because I truly expected him to. He is, after all, not you. But, I know it…it upset him. He was trying so hard to make his own mark with the team, to make the team his. I..I should have recognized that for what it was and let him find his way, do things his way. He didn't need the reminder, didn't deserve the comparison. I believe he felt I was telling him he did not and could not measure up. I am dreadfully sorry for that and I want so much to tell him how much a regret my mistake, my choice of words. I…" Ducky paused and just shook his head.

After a moment, he continued. "At any rate, insult was added to injury, we…well, Abby had told him that he was not you, 'not Gibbs.' That was when they were all upstairs. It was a day or so after you left. Tony told them, and I paraphrase. If slapping heads and drinking coffee helps me to get the job done, than I'm going to do it, so deal with it. He then walked off. He…" Ducky paused again. "…Abby felt so bad. And I…I wanted so much to speak with him about what I had said. I didn't mean to hurt him and I didn't mean to judge him. I…I said those words before I realized what I was saying. He did an admirable job while you were gone." Ducky looked me in the eye. "And you knew he would, or you wouldn't have left him in charge."

I nodded.

"Whenever Tony was down here, Jethro. He, he seemed stressed. Well, I at first thought it was just the new responsibility, but then Mr. Palmer enlightened me on a few things."

"Palmer?" I asked.

Ducky nodded. He called over his shoulder to Jimmy, who was currently in the back room studying.

"Dr. Mallard?" Jimmy asked as he immerged from the backroom.

"Agent Gibbs needs to speak with you." Ducky stated.

I saw a look of fear flash in his eyes as he turned to spoke to me. "Yes, Agent Gibbs."

"Mr. Mallard tells me you know things about Tony, things that I need to know."

Jimmy nodded. "Yes, si… Agent Gibbs."

I nodded, and waited for him to continue.

"Tony…Agent DiNozzo, he was…he was having a hard time." Jimmy said. "Dr. Mallard and I heard the arguments at the crime scenes."

Ducky nodded confirmation.

"Arguments?" I asked. "What were they arguing about?"

"Tony's orders." Jimmy said. "He…they constantly questioned his orders." Jimmy paused.

I shook my head, my anger flaring. "When orders are given you follow them."

Jimmy continued. "Tony was here well past midnight many nights finishing reports, their reports. He, at first, he would return them Tim and Ziva and they would return them to him undone. He would make notes for corrections. The corrections would not be made, in fact, Tony said most of the time they never even looked at the notes he had made. They would just let the reports lie on their desks for a day or two and then just turn them back in as if they had done something to them." Jimmy paused. "Tony just gave up after a while and made the needed changes himself."

"How do you know all this?" I asked. I balled up my fist and fought the urge to strike out against something. I could tell Jimmy sensed my anger. He stepped back a little.

"Tony told me." Jimmy confessed. "He needed somebody to talk to. He…" Jimmy fumbled. "…he, you weren't here. Dr. Mallard was dealing with his mother. Abby, was…she was dealing with missing you so much. I don't think she could see what Tony was going through. She forgot. They…we all forgot…Tony was missing you, too." Jimmy paused again. "I was the only one he felt he could confide in. I was grateful he trusted me enough with what was going on with him to help him."

I nodded. "I thank you too, Jimmy. Thank you for helping Tony and thank you for telling me what was going on."

"I was glad I was able to help." Jimmy replied.

TBC

 

Chapter 4

The picture was becoming clearer and I was NOT liking what I was seeing. I was having a really, really hard time controlling my anger.

My next stop was the lab.

"My Silver-Haired Fox." My Goth girl stated throwing her arms around me for the millionth time since I had been back. "My babies have not had time to do their jobs."

I nodded. "That's not why I'm here."

"Okay." Abby said warily.

"I'm glad you took my pictures down." I started.

"You're back." Abby said, as she hugged me again.

"How was...Did Tony…?" I started, not sure how to ask the question, or, even, which one to ask.

"He was awful." Abby exclaimed. "Walking around here drinking coffee, slapping heads. He was trying to be you and it wasn't appreciated."

I shook my head.

"What?" Abby asked, confused.

"He was trying to make you not miss me so much. He was trying to make the transition easier." I explained. The explanation seeming to come out of nowhere, but, at least, I was finally understanding things, myself, a little better." I paused. "It's amazing…you…you, of all people." I said, shaking my head again. I could see the realization dawn on her.

"I…I didn't meant to hurt him, Gibbs. I swear I didn't." Abby confessed, with tears in her eyes.

"You kept my picture up for 4 months, Abby." I stated. "What was he supposed to think when you kept telling him he wasn't good enough?"

Abby shook her head. She was crying more. "I didn't mean that. I missed you. I missed you so much. But…but Tony, he didn't seem to, Gibbs, and it made me mad. He didn't come and talk to me. We always talked. He never came to me."

I put my hands on Abby's shoulders. "He didn't have time, Abby. He had a team to run. He had to jump in with both feet and do my job. He had to deal with you, everybody's emotions and reactions. How…when was he supposed to deal with what he was going through?"

Abby shook her head and hugged me again, this time crying harder. "I didn't mean to hurt, Gibbs. I swear, I didn't mean to hurt him." After a moment or two, Abby stepped back and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Abby. I…I didn't mean to…to say all those things. I didn't mean to dump all that on you."

Abby shook her head. "No, I hurt Tony." Abby admitted. "I didn't realize it, but I did. And…I…We'll work it out." Abby wiped her eyes again. "I'll talk to him."

I nodded and left.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

The rationalizations and the revelations came to me a too little fast while I was talking with Abby. I had some things, so guilt to work through on my part. Several of the things Abby was guilty of, I was guilty of, also.

That damned 'You'll do' kept coming to mind. I couldn't prepare him. I was in no shape to do that. I felt… I felt everything I had worked for, everything I had believed in had blown up with that ship that I seen on the screen in MTAC. I…I was lost. Lost people can't show other people the way. I needed time. I wanted space, not from the team. They were not my problem. And at the time, in my mind, the job had undergone a metamorphosis. It was a big, horrible creature that wanted to eat me alive.

I was expected to lead my team in a fight against bad guys who didn't play fair. Who didn't go by or even understand 'the rules.' And worse yet, when we got rid of one, there were 10 more waiting, eager to take his place in line. And I was supposed to lead my team into that? A conflict I was no longer sure I could, or even wanted to win. I couldn't, in good conscience, bring them into a fight, with me, that I was no longer prepared or equipped for.

Mexico was the answer, it became my oasis. I was lying in the sun, drinking beer and working on Mike's house. Not that he had wanted me too, or had even asked me. But it kept my mind and my hands busy. I also figured it would be a way to pay Franks back for letting me stay at his place. But what I thought was going to be a lifestyle change was started to turn into one hell of a boring vacation. I was drinking too much and getting too lazy. I got tired of visiting the cantinas and the senioritas were getting annoyed at me for messing up their language. I was getting tired of messing up the language. It…I was starting to miss home. I hadn't even told Franks that, and when Ziva called and asked me for help, I almost got down on my knees and thanked God for his 'divine intervention.'

I…my attitude back in D.C. on that trip, however, had not been good. I was horrible to DiNozzo. I made cutting, snide, intentionally hurtful remarks about him not even knowing what was going on on his own team. In a small way, I felt justified. I KNEW if Ziva had been in trouble when I was Team Leader, I would have known about it. I would have handled it as team leader. There would have been no need to ask for 'outside help,' which is what I considered myself at the time.

I also, though can see why Ziva sought outside help. That part took awhile. I had, I thought, taught DiNozzo how to be a good leader. Part of being a good leader is to instill the feeling of trust in your team, your followers. When I heard…when Ziva called me, I second guessed myself about Tony, I asked myself if I had, indeed, made a mistake. That, in and of itself, pissed me off greatly. I don't like making mistakes, and especially not ones that big that could have such tremendous consequences.

I finally realized Ziva simply had not wanted Tony to get into trouble. She knew Tony would help her, even to the detriment of himself and his job. She knew that, was keenly aware, and therefore called me instead.

I found myself unable to apologize to Tony, however, for my actions and my attitude. I…it was not that I wasn't sorry. I was painfully aware of my mistake. I knew I was 110% wrong. I knew I had to make it up to him. But I had no idea how. He didn't like it when I was nice to him. He could only take small doses of that. And at that rate, I would be long dead and buried before I could pay him back.

As much as I hated to do it, I would have to break my own rules and TELL him how I felt. I just wished he would answer his damned phone.

TBC

 

Chapter 5

I stopped just outside the doors to the elevator. I recognized the voices.

"I am so glad Gibbs is back." Ziva said as she and Tim exited the elevator.

Tim looked around, I assumed to see if Tony or I was in attendance. I, meanwhile, moved to the opposite side of the stairs leading to the fourth floor and listened.

"Yeah, me too. I just…it was painful. I mean, Tony as Team Leader. I just don't get it. I understand Tony was a detective in Baltimore. But…I…I wonder how he got that job sometimes. Did they just get tired of him and promote him?" McGee dropped his things at his desk and came back over to Ziva's desk.

Ziva nodded. She took her seat.

I could feel my anger grow with each word. But I managed to keep myself hidden. I wanted them to bury themselves.

"And what was with those 'campfire' things?" Tim said using air quotes.

Ziva nodded. "That was a very strange name for a meeting. I still do not see what a fire had to do with anything." She paused. "And I too cannot see how DiNozzo became a detective. Was he not a goof off there?"

Tim shook his head. "Probably not. I can't see a police department putting up with that stuff."

"Why does Gibbs?" Ziva asked.

"Something about Tony's childhood." Tim's tone was dismissive and sarcastic. "Poor little rich kid. Probably didn't get a Porsche when he was 16 and is still pissed about it. Poor Tony."

"It has to be more than that." Ziva stated.

"He didn't get along with his dad. Boo-hoo. Again, he was a rich kid. How bad could it have been?" Tim asked. "He has to work for a living, again boo-hoo. Most of us had to get by on scholarships and work part-time to get to college."

"Why did he not go into his father's business?"

I could not believe my ears. I…I had to look a couple of times to make sure it was my agents speaking.

"I'm not sure. I mean he could have been a CEO by now, making millions. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me." Tim replied.

"Commanders in Israel would not put up with such...silliness." Ziva conceded.

"Yeah." Tim said looking over to my desk. "I don't understand why he does, either."

Ziva nodded. "The glares and the head-slaps, the coffee drinking, it was a poor imitation."

"I guess he thought he could command the respect Gibbs gets by acting like him." Tim concluded.

"It did not work."

"It was embarrassing." Tim stated. "And we were supposed to respect someone who acted like that? Follow his orders? It was laughable."

"I agree."

I was pissed. No, I was beyond pissed. There are no words. I wanted to go out and choke the life out of both of them. I managed to keep myself hidden, but barely. I needed to calm myself down before I entered the bullpen.

I sat down at my desk moments later. I powered up my computer and checked my email, ignoring the inquisitive looks from both Tim and Ziva.

TBC

 

Chapter 6

I was in my basement when the fringes of an idea began to take shape. I had managed to keep my composure and get through the workday, but just barely. My poor boat, though, was now taking the brunt of my anger.

I threw down my sandpaper and picked up my phone answering it on the second ring. "Gibbs."

My thoughts for retribution would have to be put on hold. There was a dead Marine to take care of. I called the team and we converged on Shenandoah National Park at 11 p.m.

Night time evidence gathering was usually discouraged. But, the area could not really be secured. It was a public area, too public. Also, the body was found in water. Any evidence along the shore or downstream could be washed away by the current. So, we worked.

I took the opportunity to watch my agents in action.

My observations surprised me a little. I had not realized the seriousness of the 'lack of respect' issue. Tony had given Tim an order. I couldn't hear what Tony had said. I didn't need to, to see the look that passed over Tim's face after Tony's back was turned. Tim caught Ziva's eye and she returned the look. It was irritation, mixed with annoyance and a touch of arrogance.

Neither of them would have reacted to MY orders that way.

I knew of Tim's feelings of superiority. He had always bragged about his M.I.T. and Johns Hopkins education. I understood he was proud and, at first, I had no problem with it. But, I guess it was right after Tony told Tim he had his degree in physical education, I noticed a change. Tim seemed to be less, in awe, for lack of a better word. He seemed, almost, look down at Tony. I, however, didn't see it that way at first. I just took it as Tim gaining confidence and wanting to prove to DiNozzo and to me that he could be a good agent.

I watched carefully. I could see the slights, now, for what they were, disrespect of authority, DiNozzo's authority. It disturbed and hurt me greatly to see it happen. I had taught Tony well. I knew he knew how to instill respect into his followers, his team. I also knew, however, that Tim felt Tony was beneath him, in a way. Tony didn't have his level of education.

Ziva, I feel, has similar problems with Tony. She asked me, point blank, why I put up with someone like Tony. I didn't answer her, not because I didn't have an answer. I was told, a long ago, when you become a leader, they take the bone out of your head that makes you explain your actions. I just gave her my patented glare.

She was an investigator. Why couldn't she figure it out? Why was I the only one who could see behind the mask? Was I the only one who cared to look?

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

I followed Tony down to the lab when we got back with the evidence. It had been a few days since I had talked to Abby about Tony. I could tell she had not talked to him yet, and I was beginning to wonder if it was going to happen. I watched him sit the box of evidence down on Abby's lab table. He turned and was about to walk back out the door when Abby grabbed his arm.

"Tony, wait." Abby still had a grip on his arm.

Tony just turned and looked at her, not speaking.

Abby drew Tony into one of his monster hugs. "I'm sorry, Tony. I am so sorry. I..I didn't realize that Gibbs's picture…."

"Abby…." Tony pleaded.

I knew from experience Tony would not want talk about this. It would be easier, in his mind, just to deal with it on his own. But he, and I, needed Abby to make up. To use an old cliché, I had bigger fish to fry. This needed to happen first, so I could concentrate on that.

"I wasn't trying to say you couldn't do the job. I didn't want you to be Gibbs. I didn't need you to be Gibbs. He left, he was gone. You were here. I needed you to be you." Abby paused. "When I told you you weren't Gibbs I meant you need to take the job and make it yours. Gibbs has his way, and it works for him." Abby looked up at Tony. "But that's the point, Tony. It works for him. You're you. I…We didn't need, didn't want a Gibbs2." Abby paused, again and looked at him.

Tony nodded at her. "I get it, Abby, I really do."

Abby looked at him and smiled. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Tony. That was the last thing in the world I wanted to do." Abby hugged him again. "I would have taken the pictures down if you had asked."

"How could I do that?" Tony asked. "You were miserable, missing Gibbs so much." Tony paused. "I…I didn't feel I had the right to ask. It was your way of getting through it. We all had our ways…."

Abby shook her head. "Not true, Tony. Nobody…nobody helped you. Who did you talk to, Tony? Who…You were closer to him than any of the rest of us. It…it must have been like…like losing a parent all over again." She again laid her head on his chest. This time there were tears in her eyes.

Abby looked at him again, and I could tell from the look on his face that she had not been wrong. That realization, along with the others, tore at my heart. I added it to the list of my other, long list, of offenses and continued to listen. I had really never considered what it would be like for any of them, especially Tony. I have been too self-absorbed, too involved in my own hurt, bewilderment, and disillusionment to deal with anyone else's problems.

"Abby?" Tony said, pleading.

Abby raised her head and looked at him. "It's not Okay!" Abby said forcefully. "It's not Okay and don't you dare say it is!"

Tony said nothing. He just hugged her tightly as she rested her head on his chest again.

"You are my friend. I love you, so much, and I hurt you." Abby stated, looking up at him again. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "And I am truly sorry."

"Can I say it's Okay now, or will you kill me and destroy all the evidence?" Tony asked innocently.

"Just this time, don't let it happen again." Abby smiled back, studying him for a moment. She rested her heads on his chest. "You can talk to me about anything. And I mean anything. I know this doesn't fix things. I don't expect it to. But I will do my best to make it up to you." Abby reassured him.

I could see Tony smiling now. There were tears in his eyes. I, surprisingly, was tearing up myself. I knew, now, that they would be OK.

Tony returned her hug and kissed her on the cheek. He then turned and exited through the lab doors.

I stood back in the shadows as Tony left the lab. He passed me, and I assumed, headed to the bullpen. Now I just had to find a way to get him to the morgue, to talk to Ducky.

TBC

 

Chapter 7

"Hey, Boss." Tony said as he sat down, no, collapsed into my basement stairs.

"Rough week?" I asked, knowing that it had not been. But I wanted to give him the chance to open up.

"Rough few months." Tony replied.

"My Sabbatical…." I started.

Tony looked up at me. "Yeah, sabbatical, vacation, whatever the hell you want to call it…."

"I needed it, Tony." I stated. "As inopportune, as impulsive as it was on my part, I needed it."

"You're telling me you screwed up?" Tony asked.

"Yes and No." I stated.

"Wasn't a multiple choice question there, Boss." Tony stated.

I smiled at him. He wasn't expecting it and it disarmed him for just a second. "I should have said more than 'You'll do.' I know that. I realize that. I…It was meant to mean, to say so much and it fell short. I…I am not a man of many words, as you know. But you need to hear this and I need to say it." I paused. I put my sandpaper down and sat down beside him on the stairs. "I am sorry."

Tony opened his mouth to speak, but I didn't let him. I did want to lose my momentum.

"You…when we first met in Baltimore, I thought you were just a smart-ass cop." I paused again. "Some things don't change. But I got to see how good you are at your job. And I am not saying this, Tony, to make you feel good. I am not saying this to make up for what I've done. I'm saying it, because it's true. I believe in you, in your abilities." I looked him in the eye. "All those other people saw what you put out there. They saw the you, you wanted them to. I saw the real you, the flawed, human, insecure guy."

Tony looked at me, shocked.

"My insecurity comes out as 'bastard.'" I explained.

Tony continued to stare.

"I've been married 4 times, there's something going on there." I sighed. "My point is, we all have 'things,' 'issues.' And one of mine is my lack of communication, and I will work on that. I will try my damnedest to work on that. And along those lines…" I paused again. "…I should have let you know I was coming back. I saw the look of hurt in your eyes. It was only a second, but I saw it. I misinterpreted it and I got angry. I thought it meant you didn't want me back. I got a little possessive in my mind thinking, it's my team, of course I want it back."

I put my hand to the back of Tony's head and he flinched, expecting a head slap. I rested my hand at the nape of his neck.

"I wasn't disregarding what you did while I was gone. You kept things together for me. That means more than you know." I flashed back on the scene in the bullpen, between Tim and Ziva, from the day before and the anger returned for just a second. I explained. "I know what I did put everybody in a tailspin. I know that. I regret just up and leaving like it did, but I don't think I could have left any other way. My world, my sense of right and wrong, my understanding of good guys and bad guys got blown all to hell when we watched that ship blow up in MTAC. I had tried my damnedest. I had done everything I was supposed to do to prevent it, and it happened anyway. I…I was lost. I couldn't take you down that road. I didn't even know where I was going, how could I take anyone with me?"

"I would have gone." Tony said simply.

"I know you would have, Tony. That was the problem. You trust me, and that is great for a Leader. But you are more than just my underling. You are more than just my friend, we're family. Those additional risks, with family, are not acceptable."

Tony didn't look at me. He just studied his hands.

"Remember I told you 'yes and no' earlier?" I asked.

Tony nodded.

"This is the 'no' part. I didn't make a mistake leaving you in charge. I don't regret it. I made mistakes in how I handled certain parts of it, and I admit that. But the decision to leave you in charge was never an issue or a question for me."

Tony shook his head.

"Though I am glad you aren't going to Rota." I added.

Tony was stunned. He was truly, utterly speechless.

"I have my ways, DiNozzo." I said, in offer of explanation.

"Do they know?" Tony said, finally getting over his shock.

I shook my head.

"Probably would have bought me a one-way ticket." Tony mumbled out, but I caught every word.

I nodded. "We'll get back to them." I said so he would know I knew who and what he was talking about. "Did you speak with Ducky?"

Tony nodded. "He…I knew he didn't do or say anything intentionally."

I nodded. "He still felt he wronged you."

"He apologized." Tony stated. "I accepted."

I nodded. "Good."

I laid my plan out to Tony. I had already cleared it Director Shepard. She had not been surprised by McGee and David's behavior. She had praised Tony's work and had offered him a promotion. She knew their behavior had nothing to do with Tony's leadership abilities. He had been a good leader, put in charge of difficult people. She also, I knew, has a very low tolerance of disrespect to superiors.

TBC

 

Chapter 8

AN: Finally, the long-awaited chapter. I will continue after this. I will have Gibbs overhearing a conversation among Tony, Tim and Ziva. Tony has a few surprises for the both of them.

I had called Tim and Ziva into one of the conference rooms on the third floor of NCIS. It was an unusual place for me to have a conference, the elevator being my room of choice. But this was an unusual situation. I had invited Tony, Ducky, Jimmy, Abby and Director Shepard to join us, partly because it affected them all, but also because I wanted, in a sadistic way, for the humiliation to be witnessed.

Ziva and Tim entered the room at the same time, surprised to see that I was not the only one in attendance.

I 'may' have given them the impression that the meeting would be private. My mind, truly, is not what it used to be since the explosion. But, there was no time to dwell on such things now. I had a lot to say and Tim and Ziva need to hear it all.

"I left Tony in charge during my absence because I believed in him." I started. "I understand he may have taken some wrong turns in the beginning." I looked Tony's way and gave him a barely perceptible nod so he would know I was not going to condemn him for his actions. "But he was learning the position." I explained as I began to walk around the room. "He needed time to find his way."

I stopped pacing on the other side of the table facing Tim. I addressed him. "I have to ask Tim, your first day here, we threw you in the deep end and let you sink or swim, right? You processed a crime scene and were proficient with your firearm." I stated.

Tim shook his head and started to speak. I silence him with the wave of my hand and then turned to Ziva.

"And Ziva, you knew how to process a crime scene, Mossad taught you that, right?" I asked.

Before either could answer I answer both questions. "No, you didn't, neither of you. Tony taught you both what you needed to know. He…He was patient with you. He didn't belittle you for what you didn't know. He didn't make cruel, hurtful, vicious, and unfounded remarks about you behind your back." I paused briefly as I saw a look of insecurity cross Tim's and Ziva's faces. "He didn't say the things you did. Your method of learning the things he had taught you was…silly, laughable." I saw the realization dawn on their faces when I used those words. I smiled to myself and continued. I could see the reactions of Ducky, Abby and Jimmy in my peripheral vision. I could tell they had no clue things had been so bad for Tony. Plus they had not heard the conversation, just days before, that I had been privileged to.

"…Oh, and embarrassing, I forgot embarrassing." I then went in for the kill. I addressed my next statement to Tony. "And they didn't like your campfires, Tony." I knew, then, they KNEW, without a doubt, that I had overheard the conversation.

I had not told Tony much of that conversation. I knew, from what he had told me, he had imagined the worst. I did make him admit to me what Jimmy had said about the paperwork was true. But only after I told him that Jimmy was the one who let the cat out of that particular bag. And, much as I didn't want him to be hurt, a part of me was glad he was here. He needed this. He needed the chance, the opportunity to confront them, if this was, indeed, what he wanted to do.

"Disrespect and insubordination are both serious offenses. I have seen insubordination reports filed against the both of you. I was disappointed and angry, especially when I found out more could have and should have been filed against you. When I found out that Tony took it easy on you, wanting, caring enough to make sure you still two had a job. I just wish you had shown him the same consideration. What if…Director Shepard had heard your conversation herself? What is it had been SecNav? Somebody else who didn't know Tony? Somebody who actually believed the venom you were spewing?" I paused, not really expecting an answer.

"This level of disrespect is unconscionable. I can't…I respected Tony enough, believed in his abilities enough to make him leader. Not because he's been here longer than the two of you, but because he has earned it. He earned his position as Detective. He and his partner had a 95% solve rate of cases in Baltimore."

I felt the anger flare up again. I had managed to control it to this point, pretty well. I leaned across the table in front of Tim. "The only way some people can feel important is to have a degree from M.I.T. shoved up their ass."

I saw a flash of anger on Tim's face and, I have to admit, I was pleased.

I straightened back up just as Tim opened his mouth to speak. "You REALLY, REALLY don't want to say anything to me right now." I warned him.

Ziva too, felt the need to open her mouth. I beat her to the punch. "Do you have something you need to say, Officer David?" I growled.

Ziva immediately closed her mouth and shook her head.

"Good, very good." I resumed my pacing. "This is how it is going to be. You are now, and until a time I decide, under Tony's sole direction. He is your Team Leader."

Tim opened his mouth to speak.

"Agent McGee," I said, glaring at him. "…this is not a debate. You DO NOT get a period for rebuttal." I continued. "Since you two don't seem to know or understand the meaning of respect, I will make sure you learn it."

I leaned on the table again. "Since you two seem to think you can do Tony's job..." I again glared at McGee, in particular. "…I want to make sure you understand the work involved."

Tim spoke up. "I did paperwork…."

I corrected him. "You did a small percentage. I explained. Then I continued. "Plus you will be doing all of the team's paperwork. The two of you will process ALL evidence. You will wash the evidence van. You will assist Ducky, Abby and even Palmer, in any way they need or ask you to. You will not ask why and you will not complain. This is in addition to whatever tasks Tony asks you to complete. Any question of any kind will be directed to me and only me." I paused. The question thing was just as much as punishment for me as it was for them. I knew they HATED to ask me questions, when they had to choose between asking me and asking Tony, they would ask Tony every time. But, I thought, at least, I could give Tony a little pleasure, entertainment, watching it all unfold. "This…arrangement will last 8 months. This only seems fair. Since you tortured Tony for 4 months, your punishment should be twice as long. After this time has passed, I will decide if this…experiment worked, or if it needs to continue. Is that clear?"

"Eight months!" Tim countered angrily. "I'll quit."

I nodded. "I'll expect your resignation on my desk within the hour."

McGee backed down, immediately, at my counter.

I got in his face again. "The next time you threaten me with that will be the last time!" I breathed.

"You cannot do that." Ziva stated. She turned to Jenny.

"Director Shepard is in total agreement with me." I stated. "She will be monitoring your progress also."

I stepped back and Jenny took the floor.

"I am aware of the total lack of respect you two have shown Agent DiNozzo. The director stated. "I asked…I told Tony to fill complaints, for all the violations. But he refused. He was thinking of the two of you. He didn't want to be responsible for you losing your jobs. He knew if he didn't file, I couldn't do anything. There would be no proof." The director looked at Tony, then back to Ziva and Tim. "You two should be thanking him; grateful to him you have jobs."

"And just so you know," She added. "…I offered Tony his own team, a position in Rota, Spain. He turned it down. He knew Gibbs was not 100% yet. He was, and is good enough, Agent McGee, Officer David, to be Team Leader. It is too bad the two of you could not or would not see that." Jenny turned and looked at me. "I back your decisions 100%, Agent Gibbs."

I nodded. "Thank you, Director."

TBC

 

Chapter 9

I looked at the rest of Team Gibbs and nodded. They all nodded back and left the room. Ziva and Tim stood up to leave, the surprise of Jenny's announcement still evident on their faces.

 

"I'm not done with the two of you." I stated.

Ziva and Tim returned to their seats.

"Tony's childhood is not a subject for you two to throw around! It is not a subject the two of you are to EVER bring up again! Do I make myself clear?" I said, my anger flaring.

Tim managed to get out 'Poor Tony'….before I silenced him with a glare.

"You're pushing it, McGee." I hissed. "Get the hell out of here, both of you!"

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

Tony and I did not trade desks, though I was, officially now HIS Senior Field Agent. It was, as it turned out, a nice change of pace. I was going to get to see Tony at work. I returned to the bullpen, eager to start my new job.

Tony, Ziva, and Tim were all at their desks when I arrived back in the bullpen. I took my seat and made a show of checking my email as I watched the interaction among my three agents. I smiled. This should be fun.

The first week went pretty much as I thought it would. A lot of grumbling behind Tony's back, and mine. I made sure Abby and Ducky utilized Tim and Ziva whenever they needed or wanted to. At first it was awkward for the both of them, and especially for Jimmy. But I told them that I meant what I had said in the meeting, and it was not long before Tim and Ziva were running all over the building doing errands.

I think the most impressive thing was, though, Tony's leadership. I knew he could and would be a good leader. But I was still very impressed to...to see him in action. He...even though I know he could do the job. I had no idea he would excel in it the way he did. He…his way with witness and other agencies…I knew he had a way with pretty woman. But his charm and charisma had an amazing effect on those other people too. I, for once, was proud to, as they say, 'play second fiddle.'

I got a surprise of my own a week after our arrangement started. Tony had called Ziva and Tim in early and they were down in Autopsy. Tony knew Ducky and even Jimmy would not be in until 12 noon. I was a little mystified when I can in at 9 a.m. and the bullpen was empty. I hung my coat over the back of my chair, secured my gun, and set off in search of my missing team members.

I checked with Abby, thinking that maybe Tony had called her in early and that they were all down working on something for a case. But Abby's lab was dark and the doors were locked. I then moved on to Autopsy.

I stopped outside the doors when I heard Tony's voice. I saw that Tony, Ziva and Tim were seated around one of Ducky's autopsy tables and that there were several folders lying unopened. And there were papers scattered across the table's surface. I stepped back into the shadows and listened, knowing I was not meant to intend this particular meeting.

"Just so you know, Agent McGee, Officer David, Gibbs was not the only one eavesdropping on your conversation." Tony started. I recognized a thread of anger in his voice almost immediately. "I heard it all, every hateful, spiteful word." Tony paused. "I really, really had no idea you two had such a low opinion of me." Tony looked at them both, a mixture of hurt, disappointment and anger on his face.

Tim opened his mouth to speak.

 

Tony ignored him and patted the folders in front of him on the table. "I have some light reading for you." Tony took the top folder of the top of the stack and slid it toward them.  
I could tell by his tone that the reading would be anything but light. I had known he was gathering documents. I knew he had talked to Jenny, but I wasn't sure what he had asked her for. I heard him call Baltimore and Peoria while we were in the bullpen and request things. I know too, he had talked to Ducky about copies of his medical records. He then allowed me to read the items he had gathered and asked me for my advice about what he was about to do.

Tim opened the folder and took out the first stack of papers. Ziva took the second. Tony had made two copies of everything in the folder so they each would have a copy.

Tim and Ziva finished the letters at about the same time. They both just looked at Tony.

"Do you still find my leadership skills laughable, Agent McGee? Do my campfires amuse you, Agent David?" Tony spoke again before either could answer. "Apparently there are people here who respect my abilities, who know what I'm capable of and who realize that the only reason I am SFA is NOT because I was hired before the two of you!"

The first item must have been Director Shepard's glowing, in depth, evaluation of Tony during his time as Team Leader. It included details as to why he deserved the promotion. He also had the letter the director had written to the director in Spain recommending Tony for the position.

Tony then opened another folder and slid to over two them. They again read the contents in silence.

"Those things, those police reports were standard."

Tony had showed me these reports, ones he had written during his time in Peoria and Baltimore. Tony's report said that a child, a newborn had been thrown into a dumpster behind the high school her mother went to. She was perfect, a healthy, beautiful blond-haired, blue-eyed girl who died of hypothermia. Her mother had her in the bathroom at the school, wrapped her up, took her out back and disposed of her. She was not found until the next morning when the janitor went to dump something in and found the tiny bundle. He had gotten the task of climbing in the dumpster and retrieving her.

Another report stated a mother and daughter were walking down a street in Baltimore. A stranger came up to her and robbed and stabbed her, in front of her daughter. His take had only been $75. Tony and his partner were first on the scene. Tony tried to comfort the girl, aged 11. while his partner secured the scene.

The last one I had read was about a woman who drowned her two children, a boy, aged 2 and a girl, 5 months old. The reason? Her new boyfriend didn't want any children. They had ended up breaking up after 8 months. Two months after that she was charged with the double murder and sentenced to life in prison. Tony and his partner had been the first on the scene after the call came in about a car submerged in a Peoria lake. The woman had started the car down the hill with her children strapped into their car seats in the back seat.

"There are more, many more." Tony said. "But these were among the worst, the most senseless. These kept me up at night." Tony gathered the papers and put them back into the folders. "So, Agent McGee, do you need a trashcan? I can see you're about to lose your lunch." Tony leaned in closer. "You're getting sick reading them. Imagine writing them. Having to relive all that gory detail hours later, seeing the faces of those two poor, innocent children whose only mistake in life was being born to a selfish, heartless bitch of a mother. Oh, and the girl, the one who saw her mother killed… she's now in a mental institution. I have EARNED my position on this team, Agent McGee…" Ton paused, trying to control his anger. "For every body I got out of a dumpster, for every crime scene I had to visit, for every child I had to comfort. For all the screwed up, nasty, vicious, heinous act that one person can perform on another person, I. Have. EARNED my position."

Tony stared at Tim. "All you did was graduate, for college. But OH, it was not just any college…" Tony said sarcastically. "…it was from M.I.T….oh, and Johns Hopkins. Let's NOT forget Johns Hopkins."

Tim opened his mouth, but Tony glared back at him, daring him to speak.

Tony had two more folders in his stack. He gathered the last pages up and put them back in their folder, trying to give himself time to calm down before he continued. The second to the last folder, I figured was his accomplishment, commendations at Baltimore and Peoria, and the stack was high. It was full of high praise of Tony and his accomplishments, even before he made Detective. He allowed Ziva and Tim to read in silence a few moments.

"I became Detective in less than a year in Peoria." Tony said. "That is unheard of. A lot of the older guys had been there for…years…YEARS…and they hadn't been promoted to detective. It pissed a lot of them off. I did my job, and I was good at it." Tony paused. "Nothing's changed…nothing. I am still damn good at what I do. I deserved your respect because I was in the position. I had been given, entrusted with that responsibility." Tony paused. "Did I disrespect you, Agent McGee, at any time while I was team leader?" Tony asked Tim. "Did I call you Probie? Did I call you McWhatever? Did I! Tony demanded.

Tim seemed to think for just a moment. Then he shook his head.

Tony then turned to Ziva. "Officer David, we had a much more professional relationship while I was team leader." Tony stated. "How long had it been since I made any inappropriate comment to you about…anything?" Tony paused. "Since before Gibbs left, Officer David, that was when."

Tony gathered up those papers as he spoke. "So why is it, during the time I treat you the best, with the most respect; why is it that you treat me the worst?"

Tony paused, but not long enough for either of them to answer. "I didn't deserve what you said about me. I didn't deserve any of it. I expect, deserve, better from people who are supposed to by my friends."

Tony opened the last folder and handed out its contents. "This is especially for you,

Agent McGee, since you are so very interested in my childhood." He shoved the papers towards them and they began to read. This folder was full of medical reports form ER visits chronicling Tony's many visits for bruises and broken bones."

"Does it sound like to you I would have been particularly pissed about NOT getting a Porsche at the age of 16, Agent McGee?" Tony asked. "Does it sound bad, Agent McGee? I was a rich kid, how bad could it have been?" Tony said, using the same words McGee had. "I will tell you what my RICH father spent his money on, Agent McGee. He spent it on paying off house staff and doctors to keep their mouths shut about how he treated, mistreated, his son. That is what being rich, got for me, Agent McGee, a rich, drunk father on a power trip. A man who knew he could get away with ANYTHING as long as he paid the price. As long as the money flowed he could do anything he wanted." Tony explained. "I would have traded every last damn dollar of it for a parent who gave a damn, Agent McGee.

"That having been said, Agent McGee…" Tony paused. I could see his anger flaring. "…if you EVER talk about my childhood, my personnel business, in a public forum, like you did in the bullpen. If you talk about me like that ANYWHERE, ever again…" Tony paused and leaned across the table for emphasis. "…I will make you regret EVERY single word you utter. That's a promise." His voice was low and menacing.

Tony gathered the papers back up and returned them to their folder. He didn't speak for a moment, seeming to be taking the time to calm down. . "I think I have addressed all of the issues, you brought up in your conversation with Officer David, Agent McGee." Tony said, sarcastically. "No! Wait Mr. M.I.T. Smarter than thou! There is one more thing I need to ask. Would you have acted that way if you knew I had graduated from Harvard?"

Tim just stared.

"That's right, Harvard!" Go to the alumni page and look me up, you smart-ass, smug, bastard!" I could see the anger radiating off Tony, like heat.

Tim opened his mouth to speak.

"Shut the hell up! You, both of you, are damn lucky you're still employed!" Tony paused, trying to calm himself. "Director Shepard would have fired you both in a heartbeat. But I didn't want to be, to feel, responsible for you losing your jobs. I won't be feeling that generous in the future. JUST so you know." Tony warned.

"I trusted you, both of you. You betrayed my trust. I thought we were friends." Tony said. I could see the pain in his eyes. "I guess…It's a good thing friendship is not required for this job. I…I have a professional obligation to you. You have a professional obligation to me. For these 8 months…that's all I expect from you. That's all you will get from me. I'll decide, after that is over, if I will really be able to trust either of you again." Tony paused again and gathered his folders. "That's all, Agent McGee, Officer David."

Both Ziva and Tim turned to Tony. Both opened their mouths to speak.

Tony shook his head. "I honestly, truly don't give a damn what you have to say. I've heard enough from both of you."

End Notes: I know I wrote to several of you saying this would be the end. But I don't think I can end it like this, too much unresolved, too much emotion. So look forward to, at least one more chapter, maybe two.

TBC

Chapter 10

AN: I concede, the 'document thing' in chapter 9 was a little OOC for Tony. My thinking on it was that if Ducky or Abby TOLD Tim or Ziva anything in support of Tony they would think that Ducky and Abby were just taking up for Tony because he's their friend. Not because they particularly believe in him as an agent, or respect his skills. The documents provide irrefutable proof. I had Tony present the documents, as opposed to anyone else, because he is truly the only one who can convey to them how he feels about what they had done to him. How much it hurt. And the damage done to the friendship. I hope that clears things up for those of you who didn't particularly care for how I handled that part.

Tim and Ziva left Autopsy, the looks on their faces unreadable. I waited for them both to enter the elevator before I stepped out of my hiding place, then I entered Autopsy.

Tony didn't look up before he spoke. "McGee…. David…."

"Tony." I said, quietly.

His shoulders instantly slumped as if he was exhausted. He hung his head, but still didn't look at me. "You heard?" Tony asked, knowing the answer to the question.

I walked up beside him and touched his shoulder instead of speaking. I had no clue what to say, or if anything needed to be said.

"Why? Just…why?" Tony asked, exasperated.

I shook my head. "We both know Tim has always had a chip on his shoulder. And Ziva, well...she has Eli David as a father. She has her own unique set of problems."

"So do I." Tony admitted.

"True." I stated. "But you have never, ever, ever tried to screw over your partners."

Tony shook his head. "I shouldn't have had to PROVE myself to people who should know better. Tony said sinking down on the chair he had pulled up to the table. "I'm tired, Boss. I'm just…tired."

I stared at him, not really understanding. Was he telling me he wanted to quit? I was not sure I wanted this job, I realized, if he was not here too.

Tony looked me in the eye. He must have recognized my confusion because he explained. "I fought with them for 4 months, Gibbs. Four LONG months, it was, well…in their eyes…everything I did was wrong. I started off acting like you, when that didn't work I started trying to do things my own way, they complained about that. I know it was an adjustment for them. But it was an adjustment for me too. I…."

Tony paused, and I just looked at him waiting for him to continue.

"….I don't know if I'm willing to take that journey. I don't know if I want to go down that road again. The scenery, and the destination, kind of sucked the first time around." Tony explained.

I pulled the stool Tim had been sitting on from around the other side of the table and sat down. "You went down that road alone." I shook my head. "I know Abby and Ducky were here. But from the investigator standpoint, our job, you were alone." I said, putting my arm around his shoulders. "I'm here, I'm…."

"You left before."

"Not again." I promised.

"Yeah," Tony said standing up suddenly and shaking off my arm. "…until Director Shepard pisses you off or until…God knows what!" Tony's voice was beginning to shake. "Do you know what that did to me? Do you even care?"

"I won't leave." I promise. "And I do care."

"How! How do I know that!" Tony asked. "How do I know you won't go home today, after this, and decide senoritas on the beach sounds a hell of a lot better than terrorists on the streets? How do I know that?"

"You know me." I said simply.

"Correction, I DID know you. The guy who left for Mexico looked like you, returned looking like a scary beach bum in a Hawaiian shirt, and then left again. That time without even saying good bye." Tony replied. "So, as you can see, you left twice. Your track record, for lack of a better word, sucks."

I sighed. "I was lost. I told you that before. I...I lied to you Tony. I lied to everybody. I was a dad. I had a child. I…I didn't know how you, especially you, would take that." I explained. "You...you trusted me so completely. I felt like it was a huge betrayal. I'm not sorry it came out, now that it has. But, for the first time in years, Tony, YEARS I've had to deal with it all again. And it felt like it did when it first happened. All the…deception, on my part, and all the pain from losing my family, all the failed marriages, all…all of it, at once. Then there was you, your unwavering trust. I am not trying to lay all this at your feet. I'm not blaming it on you."

I paused and Tony just stared at me, arms crossed over his chest, waiting for me to continue.

"Tony, I…you are more to me than my partner, than a friend. You're my family, my gown, Italian son. I know how you felt when I left. I know exactly. I felt the same way when my family died and I wasn't there. I…everything I needed, I believed in, my support, my life was gone. I…my legs had been ripped right out from under me and I was just falling…falling with no clue if or where I would land."

Tony's expression seemed to soften, just a little.

"Life went on. I met Mike Franks. I had no clue what N-I-S was. I just knew I liked Franks. He recruited me, for lack of a better word. And then a few years later I met this Baltimore cop. I decided I liked him and then I recruited him. I have found, over the years though, that he is a little opinionated and loves to talk. But other than that, he's been a pretty good agent."

Tony smiled at me, full on this time.

I stood up and went over to him. I looked Tony in the eye. "I won't leave again because I know what I have here. I understand now what it all means, how much it means."

Tony surprised me when he hugged me back so quickly. I had expected him to stiffen up a little when I hugged him. We stood that way for just a moment before I gave him the obligatory head-slap. I think he would have been disappointed if I hadn't.

TBC

 

Chapter 11

AN: I have included my take on Gibbs's whole 'apology' thing in this chapter. I hope you like it. Gibbs makes a M*A*S*H reference.  
This is the last chapter. I hope I ended the story in a good way.   
Thanks to all those of you who have supported this story. Thanks to those of you who asked for this story, Gibbs's POV, to be written. It has been an interesting ride.

Tony stood up and followed me as I left Autopsy.

"So, what now?" Tony asked.

"You be the best damned Team Leader you can be, or I'll kick your ass." I replied, grinning.

Tony looked at me and laughed. "On it, Boss."

We walked in silence to the elevator.

"The head slaps…since I'm Team Leader?" Tony asked.

Tony exited the elevator and walked to the bullpen rubbing the back of his head in answer to his question.

Tim and Ziva were seated. They made a point of ignoring him as he walked in and Tony waited for me to go to my desk and sit down before he began speaking.

"What happened downstairs should NEVER have had to happen. I shouldn't have to prove myself to people who should know better." Tony said. "And just so you know, I will make good on my threat. There are PLENTY of computer geeks at M.I.T. and I am sure Eli David can spare another Mossad officer. The kind of insubordination I experienced at your hands will not happen again. I have the power and authority, as Team Leader, to reprimand you, and to fire you…at my discretion."

"You're not…." Tim began.

"He is Team Leader." I interjected. "And he has the full powers of Team Leader." I added, just so there would be no more argument.

Tim opened his mouth, again, to speak.

Tony went over to Tim's desk and bent down so that he was right in Tim's face. "So, this is how you want to play this, do you Timmy? Well, fine. But every mark you have against you looks bad on your bid for the directorship." Tony paused. "Vance could pass you over for someone who is not so…obstinate… pertinacious." He paused again. "Some Harvard words for you, look 'em up!"

Tony waited for Tim to speak, when he didn't, Tony straightened up again. "This time around you are going to do it right. This is a do-over, as they say." Tony walked around the bullpen. "Do it right, you get to keep your job…."

"Gibbs…" Ziva turned and looked at me. "…he can't threaten…."

"Didn't sound like a threat to me. It sounded like a promise." I stated. "And I back him on this. If you had done this to me, you would be fired. You BOTH know that. You've seen the goofball side of Tony. And he is a joker, he likes to clown around a lot. But he has never let either one of you down. He has always had your sixes. He will always have your sixes. He is deadly serious at his job and he deserves to be respected for the skill, expertise and experience he brings to it. He deserves to be respected because he taught both of you, especially you, Tim, how to be agents. You owe that to him. You didn't learn any of that from me. I don't have the patience or the time to both run the team and to teach you those things. That is why team leaders have senior field agents, to shoulder some of that responsibility." I paused. "I heard what happened down in Autopsy. I know the things Tony presented to you. I've seen them. I read them. It is a sad commentary he had to produce documentation to prove himself to you. It bothers me that he had to do it, and that you two are STILL acting the way you are."

I turned and looked at Tony. "I…I feel partially responsible, Tony. I, myself, have not treated you in the most professional manner and I am truly sorry for that. I had no idea they would take my lead. You deserved more respect from your leader." I paused. "I know, more than anybody, what you are capable of…."

There were three people, six eyeballs, just staring at me in disbelief. It made me a little uncomfortable. But, I couldn't let this go by and NOT be said. Tony deserved better from his team.

"I don't know what else to say, or if there is anything else I can say. But I am truly sorry." I said to Tony.

And for the record, just so you know, the apology thing is not to ever say you're sorry. It is never say you're sorry to strangers. They are not likely to believe you anyway. Never say you're sorry when you don't mean it. People know when you're insincere. They may never say so, but they know. Sorry's are meant for people who matter and for the times that are important. Tony means a hell of a lot to me and the timing, right now, is critical.

Tony looked at me and nodded in appreciation. He then turned his attention to Tim and Ziva. "It's really simple. You have two options. You can get with the program. Or, you can get out." Tony said. "And at this point, I don't really give a damn what you do!" Tony said before leaving the bullpen.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

Both Tim and Ziva looked at me. I just stared at my computer screen as I opened my email and started to read.

They were still staring when I looked up seconds later. "Look, he IS in charge. We have not treated him right. He deserve better from all of us. I'm going to do my part. I'm going to be his senior field agent. I am going to do his job, hopefully as well as he does it. And if you stay…."

"If…!" Tim and Ziva said in unison. I think still a little surprised I had not told Tony he was out of line. Especially with the last thing he said.

I nodded. "IF you decide to stay, we…he will be your boss for these 8 months. I…" I looked at their expressions and I was suddenly angry. They still didn't seem to get it. "…look I don't expect you to like it. I don't care if you like it. But, that's how it is."

The mood had changed when Tony returned. I guess Tim and Ziva did really want to keep their jobs after all because things seemed to get better after that talk. Tony seemed to notice. He sat down at his desk and opened a folder. He did his part of the paperwork. What couldn't be completed by his team and then he passed the folders on to me. Soon I was knee deep in work, even with passing my, the SFA work, onto Tim and Ziva.

I didn't remember the SFA paperwork being so monotonous and mind-numbingly boring. I didn't realize I have forgotten so much of that stuff. It had not been that long since I filled it out on a regular basis…had it? I tried to think back. But I couldn't remember how long it had been. But what I did remember was Mike Franks being little or no help on it. I remember the papers being sent back to me full of comments and red marks. I never even so that much red on papers I had made F's on in school. I was astounded. And I was even more astounded by the sheer number of questions Tim and Ziva asked. I was not sure I was going to make it through those 8 months. Those two seemed to ask the same questions over and over again. Once, twice, three times, maybe, are understandable. But when it gets to 10, on forms they filled out Every Single Day! I was almost at my breaking point.

My only consolation and it was not really a consolation, was that Tony was absolutely, thoroughly, and unashamedly enjoying my misery. I knew by the looks he would throw me every once and a while. I knew when he leaned WAY back in his chair and put his hands behind his head and watched me, watched me work. And he had absolutely nothing to do. His desk was clean. The smile he had on his face just about killed me.

The team leader me, would have walked over and head-slapped the look off his face. The SFA me, had to just sit there and glare back at him, it was not nearly as affective and one time he even laughed. That only made me mad, which he also took great joy in.

Utilizing Tim and Ziva as runners for Abby and Ducky had been great for them. They fell into it quickly and easily. It had freed them up to get more done. It had showed them how much time they spent doing things that, essentially, were not part of their main jobs. And both of them admitted to me, in confidence, that they would be sad to lose their help when the 8 months were up.

I, however, personally was ready to go back to things as normal after a month. I got tired of checking and rechecking evidence logs to make sure all evidence was present and accounted for. I got tired of checking behind Tim and Ziva to make sure forms were filled out and done correctly. I remembered a line from a TV show. I can't quote it correctly because I don't remember it exactly. But it was from M*A*S*H. Radar was talking to Colonel Blake. Radar was saying something about Blake signing the form to get the form to order more forms. And after all this, I had a new appreciation for what Tony did, besides his field work.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

Tony came down the stairs and sat down on his accustomed step. There was a look of pure amusement on his face.

"I had no idea what I was getting myself into." I admitted after a few moments of comfortable silence.

"There is a shit-load of paperwork with my job." Tony said.

"You aren't kidding."

"You should have let Tim do it all." I said. "That would have taught him. He wouldn't have had time to bitch and moan."

"I wouldn't have had time to be Team Leader." Tony countered. "I would have been teaching him how to do my job."

I nodded. "But it would have shut him up."

"We will be ok again, Gibbs. It's just…It's going to take some time."

I nodded. "I know."

Tony got up and started upstairs.

"Your toothbrush is where you left it." I said smiling at Tony's retreating back.

THE END


End file.
